Forbes: Entrepreneurs: Trust Your Gut And Protect Your Abundance Mentality via Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC)

As a society, we have apparently decided that “Karen” is shorthand for a certain type of rude, obnoxious middle-aged woman. For years, I have had a different shorthand, defining a “Ben” as a predator who preys on the abundance mentality and occasional naiveté of entrepreneurs.

I have previously written about well-meaning advisors in the entrepreneurship industry and suggestions for how to avoid inadvertently steering entrepreneurs down the wrong track. “Bens” are not those people; they are the swindlers and con artists who willfully exploit entrepreneurs on their journeys.

“Bens” come in all sorts of professions. I have had lawyers who didn’t bother to read agreements or put in the work to give me advice while over-charging me. I have had VCs who reneged on term sheets agreed to in writing, waiting until the final documents to materially renegotiate the deal. I have had an adviser who copied software he was supposedly advising me on verbatim, with a press release that could only be described as plagiarism.

Like many entrepreneurs, I probably over index on my willingness to trust other people. I tend to see the world as a hopeful and optimistic place and assume that others are going to do the right thing. But, I have learned, there are a lot of people who will try to take advantage of you, and you have to watch out for them closely. Here’s how.

Remember, the people I refer to as “Bens” are usually great self-promoters. They have amazing headshots and polished profiles. They’ll often try to intimidate you with glamorous stories of their past experiences, especially their successes. They’ll probably name drop all of the important and successful people they know, hoping to make you feel small and intimidated by them. They are usually charismatic, friendly and outgoing.

Somewhere, deep in your gut, you’ll know something isn’t right. Something about their self-promotion will be off. Despite being impressed and possibly a little intimidated by them, don’t ignore that instinct. 

Listen to that feeling that something isn’t right. There are people out there who will lie brazenly and even steal — usually with some sort of cover story. They’ll take advantage of you however they can if you let them. In my experience, they’ll eventually poison their reputation to the point where they have to leave — but not before they have left a trail of wreckage in their wake.

If your intuition begins to tell you that you’re dealing with someone like this, there’s an easy test to check it out. Set reasonable boundaries or firm expectations. Give them firm dates, times and milestones. While well-meaning people thrive on clarity and accountability, “Bens” will hate it. In my experience, they will escalate their emotions and rhetoric and shift blame to you or others. They will typically alternate between being aggressive in their defense and concocting a story of how they are a victim of injustice and circumstance.

Spotting a “Ben” is the hardest part, but breaking things off with them isn’t easy, either. You can expect them to try to manipulate you through friends, family or other professional acquaintances to whom you may have introduced them. The important thing is to trust your senses and instincts and stay firm in dissociating yourself from the increasingly desperate antics of these people in your life.

While I zealously guard my abundance mentality, that comes to an end quickly when my internal sense is that someone is taking advantage of me. Beware, because as an entrepreneur, I can guarantee that there are people out there who want to take advantage of you, too.

This article was originally published as a Council Post through the Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC) on Forbes.com.